Oh we have collections of those deep philosophical sayings like “it’s always darkest right before the dawn” or another one of my all time favorites “another opportunity for growth”….
We have this notion—and yes I use “we” to summarily and thoroughly include myself in this mix—that growth and evolution (read happiness and joie de vivre, self actualization, authenticity and life fully lived) is this pretty, neat, tidy little process. That it lives in the land of “I’ve got it this under control.”
Hmmmm….
How many times in your life have you grown and expanded into something way more than you thought was possible for you in a way that was Swan Lake ballet-like graceful?
Me? None.
You?
Because here’s the thing (well two things)…
1) Growth is uncomfortable.
2) When you’re full of life and living your life unabashedly and completely, you’re going to be invited to grow over and over and over again.
Stepping out into the world and being more authentically yourself and more visible, involves growth, by definition. No way around it.
You’re an infinitely creative being and you’re greatest masterpiece is your ever growing/ever expanding self and the life that flows from that ever evolving being.
That growth is you birthing new parts of yourself over and over and over again; remaking/reshaping/expanding your energy. Alchemical birth and rebirth.
Birth. Yes, birth. Because when you’re creating more joy, happiness, and the kind of pure unadulterated joie de vivre that comes from being more fully who it is that you are then it is birth.
Birth is messy.
Birth hurts.
There’s a good chance that during the process you’re more than once going to wish with every fiber of your being that you hadn’t signed up for it.
“Unlike a physical birth… we can push an emerging self back down and prolong the labor process indefinitely. We can even refuse to birth at all. We’ll be spared the immediate agony of labor, but we will reap chronic lethargy and sorrow at the loss of possibility. Life will seem “less than.” From my book Balloon to the Moon.
I don’t want you to push the self in you that’s trying to expand out into the world back down. It will make you miserable.
I don’t want you do smash yourself down. It will make you feel chronically lethargic, like a slow death on steroids.
I will admit that it does avoid some immediate discomfort, for sure. I’ll even admit that there have been plenty of times when I’ve tried to side step the process; tried to push something down and out of the way. But it never works because over time it adds up and all it does is mute us, age us, and shrivel our spirits.
It may look a real mess for sure, that part of you who’s falling apart, but really it’s happiness knocking on the door.
Instead of hiding out of view and pretending you don’t hear the knock, answer the door.
Give yourself permission to be uncomfortable. Let it in. Sit down with it. Talk to it. Make peace with it.
What that might look like in the real world is that you might do a little journaling.
You might do a little walking, barefoot on earth is especially powerful.
You might listen to what’s whispering right behind the part of you that’s squirming.
You might meditate.
You might dance.
You might rock.
Listen. Let in. Be with it.
Just like birth.
It’s intense. You think it’s too much. You breathe through it. There’s a pause. A reprieve. And then again….
It’s intense. You think it’s too much. You breathe through it. There’s a pause….
And then, there’s new life, more life.
Sometimes the labor isn’t so bad and the birthing is fast.
Other times, it feels like a lifetime.
What in you is ready to birth? What are you bringing into your life? A new way of being? A new idea? A new habit? A new artistic outlet? An attitude? A dream that just won’t go away.
Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear.
