“Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme…” a snippet from one of my favorite songs.
You and I fall down sometimes—we trip; we stumble; we come up short; heck, we flat out fail sometimes. That’s not the problem really. That’s just life.
The trouble comes after we fall, trip, stumble, and fail. That’s when more often than not we really drop the ball. And if we don’t catch that ball or at the very least scoop it up as quickly as possible, it just keeps on tanking with our spirits in tow.
Instead of picking ourselves up, folding ourselves up in a bear hug and telling ourselves it will be alright, we bash ourselves.
We dribble bits of blame and shame over that bashing. We turn up the heat and before long we’ve got a thick slathering of “you’re just not good enough”. And in that judgmental sludge, we start to wither.
A touch of irony as I write this blog today (now on my 7th pass trying to land the right words; heck, trying for any words).
A few weeks ago I wrote about my coach’s challenge to me to write a blog a week. For the most part it’s been pretty easy. A little kicking and screaming but when I show up and start writing, not so bad.
Until this morning that is.
How ironic that this is happening on a day when I’m trying to write about not bashing ourselves.
I can feel the negative nibbling at the corners of my mind. Not so subtle really—“see, you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep this up?” “That was just a fluke, you can’t sustain that.”
And really, a lot of times, those first comments seem very legitimate. They may even be said in a seemingly gentle “positive criticism”/“I’m trying to help you improve” kind of way and on in they enter.
But those innocuous first messages have cousins and sisters and brothers and links to the Italian Mafia and before you know it you’ve let in the United Nations of Negativity and your ship is sinking… fast!
There’s far worse right behind those first comments.
I can feel that negativity trying to get a foothold and I can feel myself ever so shakily, one step ahead it. I could let go at any moment and off I’d go with it. In spades. I could fall down that rabbit hole in a nanosecond.
This morning I’m lucky. I’m conscious enough about what’s going on; I’m observing the process; I’m stepping back from it and disengaging. That detachment is my power point.
It’s when you and I go unconscious that that negative tidal wave sweeps us up and away. It can take hours and even days or weeks to come back from that once we get started. That side trip into self-bashing hatred and other lower frequencies costs us a lot
It’s easy to treat yourself with compassion and acceptance when you’re flying high. It’s way trickier when things start to fall apart.
It’s easy to feel good about your newfound blog writing prowess when the blogs are getting written every week.
The real test comes when things go wrong. And they will go wrong. I don’t mean that in some kind of doom and pessimistic way. They just will. They’ll go wrong then right, right, right, then wrong, wrong, right, wrong, and then right again. Our journeys go up and down and all around the barn.
And through it all, your mission is to stay as highly afloat as you possibly can. One) because it just feels better when you do. And two) because it keeps you from really crashing and burning which is hard to get out of once you do (of course, you can if you do, it’s just not too fun).
Awareness and compassionate detachment are uplifters. Managing your energy and coming back to center (through your breath and mindfulness) make those possible.
Dancing, running, spinning, singing, skipping… so many things intentionally used can ease you back up.
Because really…
There’s no better way to fly.
What are your favorite uplifters? I’ve started writing another article that I think will be titled 101 Ways to Turn Happy On and I’m on #62. I’d love to add your go tos so leave me a comment and let me know.
In the meantime… Fly high.
