SOMETIMES THERE’S SO MUCH MUD ON THE WINDSHIELD YOU CAN’T SEE A THING

You have a great idea! You’re on fire. You’re excited. You haven’t felt like this in a long time. You can see it. You can feel it. You know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can make your dreams come true.

You’re at a vision board workshop and you’ve made the most incredible collage. You’re talking about it and the women around you are nodding their heads and leaning in. You can tell they believe in you. They can see it too. It feels, well, it feels like you’ve got your magic belt on and your wrist bands and you’re unstoppable. You can lift tall buildings and hop over mountains. And then….. a little time goes by and now…

The washing machine breaks. You don’t have a thing to wear to the office. You back your car out of your CVS parking spot right into a police cruiser. You get to work and your boss has called an emergency meeting. Your stomach drops.

Yup, it happens—gravity. Life gone wrong on a dime. Gravity has a way of sucking the energy right out of you in about 1/2 a millisecond.

 

That clarity you had a few days ago? Gone.

That empowered feeling you felt in every cell of your body? Gone.

That unstoppable energy you knew yourself to be? Gone. Poof. Cup empty.

 

And now all that’s left of that vision and confidence is a muddy mess. A pile of yuck energy you can’t quite get a handle on. It’s a bit like driving through a mud storm with the windshield wipers on high and all you’re doing is making more of bloody muddy mess.

And then, oh yes, because let’s face it this is just the very beginning, your United Nations In Charge of Negativity kicks in with every negative sound bite you’ve ever had about yourself.

  • You didn’t really think you were going to be able to pull that off did you?
  • Who do you think you are anyway?
  • You never succeed at anything you really want.
  • Honestly you’re just a loser and you know it so stop going to those pie in the sky workshops. You’re just embarrassing yourself.
  • Loser.

Gravity on steroids and oh boy, now you’re really spinning out. You can’t get your footing to save your life. And the worst part is that the more this negative garbage gets going, the more you start to believe it’s true. You really are a loser. You really will never do anything that means something to you.

We all sidestep into a mud shit storm from time to time. All of us. No exception. It’s part of the human condition. The catch is to manage it when it hits. So….

1) Gravity happens. It’s okay. We’re going to make sure you have a gravity navigation plan. Read on…

2) Don’t believe everything you hear. In fact, when you’re in Mudsville, do your best to ignore most of it. And don’t engage. Repeat: Don’t engage. Don’t get into a conversation with those thoughts in your head. Don’t try to defend yourself. Very gently back out of the room.

3) Stop. Literally. Stop. It really helps me to literally think of this like a mud storm and there’s so much mud on the windshield I can’t see a thing. I have to wait it out. Let it pass and yes, this too shall pass! It always does. Don’t agitate it. And the tendency, if you’re anything like me, is to try to make these I’m squirming in my seat I’m so uncomfortable feelings go away by taking some kind of massive action. Don’t. Just wait it out. You’re not thinking clearly because you can’t see clearly and you’re getting a lot of false information when you’re sitting in a mud storm. So just wait.

4) Be exceedingly gentle with yourself. Mud storms are NOT fun. They’re pretty fricking miserable. Your favorite feel good movie might be in order here. Or a walk in the woods. Or a hot tub. Or a friend. Or a massage. Or a frolic with a puppy. Nothing that involves thinking!

5) Come back to the dream even if you feel shaken, insecure, deflated. When the mud stops pelting the windshield go back to your vision board. Go back to your dream. What we tend to want to do at this point because the whole mud storm has been so upsetting is just go back to status quo and forget the dream. Please don’t. Your dreams are calling you forward. Your dreams are growing you and expanding. Your happiness lives in the process of your moving into those dreams.

Maybe you have some dreams you’ve dropped over the years in the middle of a mud storm or two. Perhaps this would be a nice moment to just close your eyes and take some deep breaths and make some space for those dreams to ease their way back into your life. You might be delightfully surprised by what shows up.

If it’s something you’d like to share, I’d love to hear from you so please leave me a comment.

 

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