SO, YOU’VE PICKED UP YOUR BOSS’S ENERGY EVEN WHEN YOU REALLY, REALLY WISH YOU HADN’T BECAUSE NOW YOU’VE GOT A PIT IN YOUR STOMACH.

Your sensitivity’s an incredible thing. It’s what makes it possible for you to tear up at the sight of a dew drop on a rose petal or a sun setting on a boat in the distance or a lamb frolicking in a field.

As lovely as it would be to tell the people in our lives to deal with their feelings before we started picking up on them, that’s probably not going to happen any time in the near future. For one thing, you and I tend to pick up feelings before other people are even aware of them. We’re like sparrows ducking for the trees even though the sun’s high in a totally cloudless sky. But sure enough, that sparrow’s right and along comes the rain. Every time. It’s really kind of amazing.

We’re a bit sparrow like. We’ve got that sensitivity—maybe not for the rain, but definitely for other people’s feelings. For us though, it’s not as simple as it is for sparrows. For one thing, we have this thing called a brain and while it’s amazing in so many ways, it can get us into a muddy mess in a hot minute.

Have you ever found yourself in what feels like a totally useless argument with someone you love because the more you say “I can tell you’re upset”, the more they say “no, I’m not, I’m fine but I’m starting to get irritated.” And around and around it goes.

When a sparrow senses rain, it just responds. It doesn’t analyze it. It doesn’t try to predict how much. It doesn’t get caught up in the philosophical angst of “why me?”, it just starts to fly low and look for cover. You and me? Well, we do something a bit different. And we especially do something different if the “storm” that’s coming is coming in from a person who really matters to us—like our bosses, our partners, our sons or daughters, our mothers…

Before we even realize it–a lot of times at a totally unconscious level, just out of reach of our awareness–we do a few things.

First of all, we react to the energy. We react, without even realizing we’re reacting. We may feel a pit in our stomachs or the start of a headache or what feels like sudden anxiety.

Then, we start to look for what’s going on. Because you may be so sensitive you may not even be able to “see” in a clear external way what’s going on. The person you’re sitting with may still have a smile on their face. And this is when your brain starts to kick in. Looking for a reason. Trying to understand what’s happening. It usually starts with “what’s wrong with me?”

And then, it’s not long before the feeling we’ve been feeling starts to show up on the other person’s face. Now they look upset or they’ve just snapped at us or they’re scowling. Now our brain really kicks in and starts creating a story. And this is when we really sink into quicksand. Because as intuitive and sensitive as we are, once we’re agitated we don’t see the “story” clearly.

We see the story through our lens and a lot of time that’s not the story at all.

Our “story” intuitiveness only works when we’re incredibly centered and neutral.

So, what do you do? Because let’s face it, you’re still going to react. You’re still going to feel the storm. The answer to that is make like a sparrow. Really, truly.

Here are 3 tricks that have really helped me over the years and hopefully they’ll do the same for you.

1. Know to the core of your being that you’re a sensitive. Accept it. Make peace with it. Know that it’s not a flaw; it’s a gift but it’s one that needs to be managed.

2. Trust your responses. If you feel like “flying low” even when you don’t quite know why, let yourself fly low. Take a break from the person you’re talking with. Go for a little walk. Do a 2 minute reset meditation. Breathe.

3. Don’t tell stories. Why the storm is coming is irrelevant–especially when you’re in high response/reaction mode. Just deal with storm. There will be time later for evaluation and deciphering if you like.

4. Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with the other person. You’re sensitive. They may not be. You may be picking up on something that’s not going to make it into their awareness for another hour or day or two.

5. Use every single “rain’s coming” feeling as a chance to recenter. Just take it as a little nudge from the Universe to come back to center. The more you practice this last step, the more you’ll be able to notice your internal reaction without responding to it. It will just be a feeling of “hmmm… guess there’s some weather” instead of the usual sense on downright angst that something’s really wrong and we have to fix it.

Play with this. See how it works for you. Think about the times when you’ve already done this in your life because there have definitely been times when you’ve just noticed someone else’s energy without reacting to it. Times when you just noticed the clouds passing by and didn’t take it in the least personally–not even a tiny bit.

See how this goes and let me know how it’s going for you. I’d love to hear so leave me a comment.

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