I, for one, still have a temper tantrum enabled toddler living right smack dab in the center of my internal landscape.
Oh yeah. I like to think I’m a meditating, centered, evolved being of light and then… There she is, complete with protruding lower lip, stomping feet and door slamming swagger—yup, she’s back.
Miss ‘I’m not the least bit happy about this’ right in the middle of… well, you name it.
If you’ve been following me for while—and some of you have, it’s been years now—you know that my emails and blog posts are anything but regular. I know you love them because I hear that from you. But I also know that they’re not the most consistent in the world (major understatement). Soooo…..
On a recent coaching call my business coach challenged me to 6 one hour writing blocks in 6 weeks.
Hmmmm… slight resistance but “okay, I can do that.”
“When are you going to schedule it?” She asked.
Major squirm enter stage right. “Uh… I don’t know. Uh… I can’t see where there’s time in my schedule. Uh… you mean a regular time? I mean what if I’m out of town or something?”
OMG! Are you kidding me? Even I could see this! Hilarious. I was literally physically squirming around in my chair.
But being the fabulous coach that she is (and can I just say everyone needs coaches in their lives!), she just kept pushing—gently but persistently—until I gave her a specific time when I was going to write every week.
More squirming. Soooo uncomfortable. But okay, I’ll do it.
“Great. And I want you to post it on our Facebook page and let me know you’re doing it. Write that you’re starting your writing session; and write when you’re done.” (My coaching group has a private Facebook page.)
OMG! Are you kidding me? Now groaning, grumping, stomping, pouting are understatements for what happened next.
She wasn’t kidding though. And in a place of total and complete discomfort I agreed.
Literally kicking and screaming. I could feel that internal toddler having a field day. She was pissed! This is not how she likes things to flow. She likes things to “flow” on her schedule, in her own time, in her own way. Of course, when she’s left in the driver’s seat, we do have a hell of a great time, but there are some things (like writing) which actually feed my soul down to a very deep level and allow me to do the heart work that puts a smile all over my being to go by the wayside.
Week 1… kicking screaming continues. A funny thing happens though in that first hour. A blog gets written. And in spite of myself I can feel creativity flowing through me (even through the hubbub of yo schmo toddler having her field day).
Week 2… more kicking and screaming. Hysterics. Another blog. More creative juices. Feels good when it was done.
Week 3… oh my, now the antics are reaching epic proportions. She’s pulling out all the stops. Literally yelling in my ear. Still, I write the fricking blog.
Week 4.. 5…
You get the idea. But a funny thing happens somewhere along the journey.
At some point instead of this endeavor being an elaborate exercise in torture devised by my well meaning business coach to make my life miserable, it becomes a habit. It just becomes something I do. This is just something that happens on Monday mornings—I sit down and write for an hour.
And in that dedicated time, it’s like the blog writing creativity is just waiting for me. It’s the most incredible feeling. I can feel it throughout the week too. Little ideas for blog posts will come along and get popped into my Evernote Blog file. On Monday morning, there they are, just waiting for me.
And there’s brain anatomy to this too.
When you have to make a decision to do something you use up a massive amount of what is very limited decision making juice leaving your brain a bit depleted and tired for the things you really want to be using it for.
The more things you can put on auto pilot the better because the auto pilot/”this is just what I do” energy comes from another part of your brain (the limbic system if you must know) and leaves the precious resources of your pre frontal cortex (now that we’re on anatomical terms) for the big stuff.
So, what are you wasting your precious brain energy on every week? Either on the front end because you’re trying to decide whether you should do something or not. Or on the back end because you didn’t do it and now you feel bad, like you’ve let yourself down yet again.
I’d love it if you’d pick just one thing. One little thing, just to get the juices rolling. And then kick in some accountability. Yup, you can argue that one until the cows walk across the Atlantic Ocean. But the truth of the matter is you have a way better chance of creating a new habit and getting it to stick when you have accountability.
If you’re already a Balloon to the Moon Full Flighter, then post your new habit on our Facebook page. If you’re not, then find someone in your life you can tell about this new habit. Don’t just tell them one time. Get very specific. Tell them that you’re going to text them or call them before you do it and then again after you do it. Tell them exactly what you want them to say or do if you don’t do it. You know yourself. Ask yourself what this needs to look like. And then set it up and do it.
And by the way, never mind about the tantrums. Be gentle with that inner toddler but carry on with the new habit no matter how loud it gets! And be sure to let me know how it goes.
Happy habiting.
© Rhegina Sinozich
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